Cheetos!

I've been holding this one off for a while. I guess because Cheetos are a fairly monumental and iconic North American snack, they're also really disgusting but in the most delicious kind of way.  They also come in a ridiculously massive bag of 280 grams, hardcore snacking right here.

Usually I have the civility and willpower to photograph an unopened bag, but these are god damned Cheetos we're talking about, it's impossible not to open them immediately and start devouring them with all the enthusiasm of a starving dog who wandered into a sausage factory.
For my European readers you might be wondering what they're like; British readers might be familiar with Cheesy Wotsits, Cheetos are like those if they'd spent some quality time in Chernobyl for a few months, they're also corn snacks, covered in cheese-powder, only Cheetos are bigger, greasier, saltier and completely caked with cheese dust. I imagine every individual Cheeto probably takes a few minutes off a person's life, but it's probably worth it. My girlfriend was just worryingly lecturing me about their content, I've eaten about 250 grams of them since last night, she's informed me that I have consumed a gram of trans-fat that will never leave my body and probably clog my arteries... still worth it.

OK, I'll be honest, this image does kind of disgust me. When I think that I've eaten dozens of these things, a half a pound of them in the space of about 12 hours, it is somewhat worrying... BUT THEY'RE SO GOOD. I should probably give a brief history of Cheetos. Although there are many variants, the two main varieties are puffs, as shown here, and the crunchy ones. The crunchy ones have a firmer texture as you'd imagine and actually came out first. They originally appeared in 1948 as Chee-tos and were marketed more towards adults than kids, the original mascot was a mouse who spoke like an English butler about his dignified snack, that angle changed over time. Now they're marketed by an awfully 90's and hip cheetah called Chester, who sports shades and flies airplanes, he reminds me of Poochy from The Simpsons, a focus-group 'cool' mascot to appeal to the kids. There are many other variants around the world, just this year in Japan they released a Pepsi flavor! I've also tried the Jalapeno and Cheddar ones which are absolutely delicious.

But in conclusion, I have to ask myself, as I sit here with orange-stained fingernails and a bloated tummy, do I ever want to eat these things again? The obvious answer is no, but somehow I doubt this has been my last tango with Chester Cheetah.

Doritos: Black Pepper Jack

One of two new limited edition flavors of Doritos, the other being Pizza flavor. I think these were around before and Frito Lay bring them back every few years for novelty value.

The good news is that they're really delicious. They have a creamy flavor at first, followed by a great peppery aftertaste, just like the cheese they're named after. When you eat the first few, they seem a little bit bland but it just takes a little while for the flavor to kick in, and when it does, it's really good.
The chips themselves are more pale-looking than most Doritos. They have the same Doritos texture you know and love.

I was going to review the Pizza flavor ones but I don't have a whole lot to say about them. They're kinda gross but I don't like pizza flavored things in general. I'd much rather grab a slice of pizza from one of Toronto's many good and cheap pizza restaurants. If you like pizza-flavored things then by all means check them out, they taste the way you'd expect them to. The Black Pepper Jack are definitely superior, although not in the same league as the now rare Inferno.

President's Choice: Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chunk Cookies (The Decadent)

I paid a visit to the convenience store yesterday and picked up some of these cookies at random  The name alone sold me.  A name they live up to! Despite the lackluster packaging.

These cookies are absolutely delicious, I can see why they shoehorn the word 'decadent' into the title. They have a really soft and crumbly texture and it feels like about 70% of the cookie consists of chocolate and peanut butter. They're incredibly sweet but not sickeningly so.The individual cookies are quite chunky and misshapen, deformed by the excess of their ingredients, sweet delicious deformity... ommmm.

The only other product I've tried from President's Choice was a bag of Piri piri chips, those were also amazing, so yeah, I won't hesitate to try out their stuff in future. These cookies might be the best I've ever tried from a packet; although the Fudgeeos were delicious, they really pale in comparison to these chunky wonders. The only downside these have against Fudgeeos, is that they're not vegan-friendly, but alas, the taste is worth it from my point of view. Just look at the texture of these things!

So to sum it up, these cookies are incredible. If you enjoy peanut butter and chocolate you simply NEED to try these ASAP. They're only 3 dollars for a hefty 300 gram pack, more than even I could eat in a single day. I  managed to get through 1 of the 3 rows of cookies in the pack over the space of 24 hours. The rest will last me another couple of days, so good value too for such a decadent cookie.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for my next review, probably of Mug Root Beer!

FudgeeO Cookies

To give a little more context to this blog, it's North American food from the perspective of a European, so many of the products are all exciting and new to me.

FudgeeO's are cookies made by Nabisco in most of the world, and by Christie here in Canada. They're something of a more decadent version of the humble Oreo, two chocolate biscuits sandwiching a delicious fudge-flavored center. Like Oreos, they also come in a Double Stuff variety which I look forward to trying out. The cookies themselves are delicious, similar to Oreos with a slightly lighter texture.

They feel slightly lighter than Oreos but taste just as chocolaty, if not more so. If you've ever tried the Fudge flavored Oreos, think of these as a superior version, the filling is softer and more abundant. You can still make your own Double Stuffs by carefully twisting off a biscuit from two cookies and sticking the two remaining sides with the filling intact together, the cream is of a softer consistency though, so use a lighter touch! Overall I find the filling a lot sweeter than that of Oreos which is a good thing if you want to just eat one or two, but a drawback if like me, you plan on devouring a lot of them in one go.

So ,overall, my verdict is a positive one! If you've got a sweet tooth and a love for chocolate, try them out. The filling doesn't exactly taste like real fudge but it's still delicious! Ideal for a movie snack or with a nice cup of coffee. Give these a try!

Doritos Inferno

Hello and welcome to my new blog. I'll be using it to write about various food I'm eating here in the glorious city of Toronto. The blog will focus a lot on junk food, since, despite being 30 years old, I have the appetite of a 15 year old weedhead.

And with that, let us jump into the first post; Doritos Inferno. I tried these chips for the first time yesterday, assuming they'd be fairly hot given the title and the flashy packaging adorned with flames on a black background. When I first opened the bag, I noticed the chips themselves are a similar color to the Spicy Nacho flavor except with seemingly less seasoning. I'd show you a picture of them if I hadn't already eaten the entire bag, below is a pic of some of the crumbs!  I'll have to eat more bags before I know whether or not the amount of seasoning is consistent, sometimes it varies with Doritos.

After eating one, I was a little underwhelmed by the lack of heat, it seemed the tried and tested Spicy Nacho flavor still had the crown for spiciest flavor, but after a couple more mouthfuls I was pleasantly surprised by the delayed spiciness that crept up. They've actually got quite a kick to them! Hardcore chili hounds won't notice much of a kick, but for Doritos they really are pretty hot!

So if you like Doritos and you enjoy a bit of a spicy kick, check these out. They have a nice cheddar flavor with a substantially spicy aftertaste. I've read that the Mexican recipe is nowhere near as hot as the Canadian variety, so seek out the Canuck ones if you can.